Last night I took my two boys to a Christian concert (TobyMac, Brandon Heath and Hawk Nelson were the big names). My boys are 10 years old and 7 years old. This would be their first concert and my first one since high school (yeah, 20 years ago!). It was AWESOME! great music, cool lighting and special effects, excellent messages and a relatively intimate setting (about 5,000 people). Both boys like TobyMac's music (not as much as mine of course, but he's a close second) and I figured they'd love the concert setting. Well, kind of...
Fairly early on we went for a snack and to buy some of those various items they sell that light up. The older wanted the glasses and the younger wanted a spinny-around thing. Ok, done. We grabbed those and a snack (all of which were VERY reasonably priced) and headed back to our seats. So now the main 4 acts we're playing and I noticed that the younger was facinated by this spinny-around thing. For the next 2 1/2 hours he played with that thing (holding it up, putting it on his teeth so it'd vibrated his skull, waving it around, showing me every aspect of how it worked). Despite my many attempts to encourage him to watch the concert we CAME HERE TO SEE, his fascination was in that cheesy tricket.
After about an hour I almost took the thing away and said "Watch the concert!" but I stopped myself. Afterall, he wasn't being mean or disobedient. He wasn't trying to get on my nerves. He was just being himself. See, our younger LOVES the journey much more then the destination (which is completely opposite of myself). He LOVES to find out how things work and what can be done with them (much like myself). He was enjoying that $6.00 LED spinner more than anybody else could. He was having a great time.
I guess the point is this: Your children are not you. They have different views, goals, likes and dislikes. The younger ones still enjoy the simple things in life, so let them. The older ones, well, I'll let you know in about 5 years. If you don't know what "love language" your child speaks (both giving and receiving), let me encourage you to FIND OUT! (an excellent resource is "The Five Love Languages of Children" by Chapman and Campbell). Rather than always dragging them into your world, take time to live in theirs.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hey, Ty. I love this post. How fortunate for your children that you already realize how true this is. So many times, we, as parents, try to do way too much for our kids by "giving" them way too much way too early. And we expect them to respond to these "gifts" of time in certain ways.
ReplyDeletePiano lessons, karate lessons, insisting they sign up for soccer or basketball or cheerleading, etc. It's the rare 4 or 5 year old who can stand out in right field and not end up playing in the dirt.
We keep them in the car going and doing "for" them so much that they don't have time to just sit outside and/or reflect and ponder the world around them. They see the world whizzing by at breakneck speed as they're chauffeured around from one activity to the next.
I have been guilty of secretly being angry or upset that my kids didn't appreciate the trouble and time I took to take them somewhere, only to have them not enjoy it like I think they should.
For instance, taking them to play putt-putt and them not even caring whose turn it was or in what order they did the holes. And they were quite content to just stand and count the balls in the water for a while or watch the windmill turn. It's like the old joke: "Get over here and have a good time whether you like it or not!"
Thankfully, I'm a little wiser as a Grandmother in that respect and I think it's awesome that you recognize the importance of letting your children respond to the experiences around them in their own way. Thank you for sharing these thoughts with others.