Look for Opportunities

Keep in mind that every "mistake" a child makes is an opportunity for you, the parent (the teacher), to show compassion and offer instruction. Instead of going nuts of a spilled drink in the living room because "I have told you a thousand times not to have open drinks in the living room, AND if you did, don't throw pillows around because it might get knocked over." This happened to me a moth or so ago and i have regretted my immediate response ever since. Yes, he was in the wrong and yes he should not have had the drink in the living room, open and right near where he was throwing pillows and yes we have told him many times...

Yes, he was guilty, but the WAY i handled the situation resulted in him seeing me as a "one strike and you're out dad," as he must walk a thin line and never make a mistake, and/or with future mistakes he'll get them "cleaned" up before i ever now about them. NONE OF THESE ARE GOOD! Instead i WISH i would have just calmly said "ah-oh", talked about thinking about what we're doing, trying to be more responsible, then made used this SMALL, TRIVIAL mistake to open the door to him coming to dad when tings go wrong. If i would have had it in my mind BEFORE the mistake how i was going to handle it and what great points i could make - i.e. life's mistakes have consequences now we have to clean this out of the carpet, or "i remember when i (fill-in-the-blank) with a mistake you made and how you wished you had handled it)" or laughed about it how pillows will almost always win a battle with an open grape fruit drink, etc...

Now, i'm not saying perpetual grace or over-looking disobedience is the way to go, but teaching yourself how to best deal with these transgressions will result in a health relationship with you child. And when these small matters become big matters, you will be included in the possible solution. Remember you are the teacher, and there is no need to create curriculum, it's provided for you everyday.

May God give us wisdom to see past the immediate and constantly dwell on the eternal.

Blessing,

ty jones